Uncanny X-Men #9 Review : Pop Culture Leftovers

Uncanny X-Men #9 Review

August 11, 2013 3:34 pm | Leave your thoughts

Review for Uncanny X-men issue # 9

Warning: do not read this review if you do not want the issue spoiled, but if you don’t intend to actually buy this book and are freaking out because the Uncanny X-cast has not put up a new episode all summer then this is the review for you.
Full disclosure gentlemen, I didn’t start loving the WWE wrestler Daniel Bryant until he started referring to himself as the Dazzler. Longshot is my favorite X-man of all time, and therefore his wife Alison Blaire, codenamed Dazzler, holds a special place in my heart. Now I don’t know if this has all been taken away by the dastardly villain Retcon, but she will always be Longshot’s girl in my heart. Previously in the run, Dazzler was revealed to be S.H.I.E.L.D.’s woman on point in dealing with Cyclops’ personal mutant revolution. This issue begins with Dazzler trying to talk to the family of the mutant Fabio Medina, code name Goldballs. This is not his official code name as of yet, but hot damn I hope it sticks.
His family has various reactions to seeing their son for the first time since he manifested his power of being able to manifest thousands of gold balls at will, hence the code name. I have heard people remark that his power is stupid and just meant to be humorous. I will admit that it is quite funny when it happens, but Fabio has yet to figure out what all these little balls actually do so please reserve judgment until Bendis reveals it. In Bendis we trust. His mother is just happy to see him alive. His sister is too busy geeking out on Dazzler to care about anything else. I laughed out loud when his sister asked Dazzler to autograph her copy of the Dazzler album even though her father is pulling a gun on Alison. Dazzler calmly walks around the room slowly putting on a random record as Fabio’s father counts down demanding that she leave the house, or he will shoot. Alison turns up the music and flash bangs everyone in the house.
We then cut to my favorite of the new additions to the mutant race getting his first day of training at the New Xavier School for the Gifted. He is a technopath named David. Again, there may be some personal bias in my budding love of this new mutant. Hijack, as Cyclops will later gloss him, makes the Blackbird turn on and hover above them. He then proceeds to almost drop it right on top of the whole group. Love this guy. Before we go back to Dazzler, one of the Stepford Sisters FINALLY shows a little individuality for the first time in quite awhile. Magneto informs everyone that Fabio has been picked up by S.H.I.E.L.D. to which Cyclops tells everyone to saddle up.
We return to Dazzler interrogating a handcuffed Fabio with Anita Hill and company watching through a two way mirror. Agent Coulson tells Commander Hill that they should not have him in this cell because it is not shielded against Cyclops’ Cerebro mutant locater just as Magik teleports in the entire Uncanny team. Anita Hill tries to pull a gun on Cyclops and is transported to a remote island getaway by Magik. The new mutant Tempo then freezes the rest of the agents in time. The X-men interrupt Dazzler as she is trying to get any information out of Fabio about the whereabouts of Cyclops. Great White Queen moment in this issue as Emma refuses to call Alison by any other name than Disco. The name calling continues as Cyclops calls Dazzler the Uncle Tom of the mutant race. She fires back calling Cyclops the Sirhan Sirhan of mutants, a bold move by Bendis to reference a name that is probably not that recognizable to younger readers. Sirhan Sirhan was the man who killed Senator Robert Kennedy. Cyclops dismisses this highlighting the fact that he has yet to truly get honest with himself about murdering Charles Xavier. Magneto does not say another word the rest of the issue, foreshadowing anyone? Hijack then displays quite an amazing potential by commandeering the helicarrier to cover the team’s escape.
The issue closes with a powerful scene. Dazzler is sitting alone in her room holding her head in her hands. Agent Coulson enters the room and expresses concern for Alison, telling her “We’ve all been there”. He expresses his hidden fandom of her work and offers her a cup of “terrible” coffee. She falls to the floor clutching her throat. Coulson apologizes to Alison and tells her not to take it personally. He then transforms momentarily into Mystique then Dazzler.
Writer Brian Michael Bendis is hitting on all cylinders right now. This issue progressed events nicely while blending some cute little character moments. From Scott’s continued fanatical behavior to Mystique’s dramatic reveal, Bendis is not busying himself stalling until the next big event. Chris Bachalo is doing double duty on pencils and colors. His gritty, stylized images are giving this book a very signature look that I am truly in love with. I give a strong Taste It to the entire team on Uncanny X-men right now. I don’t love it yet, but I really like it. I lament that we will soon be noosed with another impending event, War of the Atom featuring the return of Nightcrawler! Why in Apocalypse’s name do we need to be reminded that the death of an X-character means nothing? I have a theory about why Cyclops does not feel remorse about the death of Xavier. He knows the same thing we all do. Charles Xavier will come back to life for, what, the fifth time. Please Marvel, stop killing characters in big events just to resurrect them two years later during the next big event.

Uncanny X-Men #9 Review

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